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Avoid Social Contact With All New Neighbours: Expert Warning

New Neighbour

“Once first contact has been established there’s a definite expectation of vibrant conversation for all future interactions,” say experts.

Our instinctive need for human contact can often lead us to seek social contact with neighbours, especially after first moving into a new place.

However, psychologists say this should be avoided at all costs.

“It’s a slippery slope,” says Dr Ivy Phillips. “Once this first contact has been established there is a definite expectation of vibrant conversation for all future interactions.”

Dr Phillips says this can place a sense of burden on residents who feel trapped into pretending to care about their neighbours.

“The psychological impacts can be severe, especially for those living in apartments.” she says. “For some victims, the mere prospect of bumping into neighbours in the corridor at any time can be overwhelming.”

In some cases the effects can also be physical.

“We’ve seen residents re-structure their daily schedule to limit the chance of contact with neighbours.”

To avoid any impacts, residents are advised to always ignore all their neighbours.

“If they try to strike up conversation with you, just disengage as politely as possible.”

(This is a satire news story)

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Strataville Editorial

Strataville Editorial

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